Indie Report: Proteus

Proteus is Professionalism

Proteus is both ancient druidical and thug modernist.

A SOMETHING OR RATHER BY NOBODY

If you don't buy Humble Bundles your life begins to seem meaningless and melts away like putting a dolphin in a nuclear reactor. That has happened to at least a couple people; I'm sure of it. It's a lot like the forbidden fruit. Your body wants it so bad, but your prude momma's boy attitude gets in the way and hollers "oh no don't do it!" I'm tired of all these elitist fucks thinking they're over charity. I mean, it helps the lessers.

The recent 'Humble Bundle 8' contained a flurry of new games to stack up in your Steam library and pleasantly look at from time to time. However, Proteus caught my ever-fleeting attention with its juicy, juicy visuals.

If you like cotton candy, then you'd probably enjoy Proteus. Almost every tree in the game is a large, colorful clump of that OG sweet fluff. At first, I was convinced this was a cotton candy sim. The first of its kind. But after climbing over the hill and chasing frogs for two more hours, I realized it's actually a tactical meditation FPS. The fifth and sixth hour of trotting through this mildly-eerie, 2-bit chicken farm to echoey experimental electronic music was the real life changer. The frog was a different color after I beat the flowers on the hillside!

I gotta say, my one gripe with this game was the frogs. They didn't give me my orders to "switch to your other wep' it's faster than reloading!" Also there was no XP or gold camos. This is 2013 indie devs, step it up.

In reality, Proteus is a game about walking around a small island and listening to music. The entire game gives the feeling of hearing a really cool song for the first time. Walking over hilltops and hearing the music get louder gives a real rush. If it was in 3D, I'd recommend it to my grandpa. 

Proteus is a fun cotton candy sim with many sounds.